Hey everyone. I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted, but life has just been abnormally crazy. From finals, to Christmas, to starting a new semester, I have barely had time to breathe. Making time for myself has felt nearly impossible lately. But with the start of the new year, I have decided to make some big changes…

I am going to choose myself this year.

As I have written about before, I struggle with self esteem issues tremendously. Within this struggle I have always looked for validation in things that I shouldn’t. Before my assault, I looked for validation in sports and acedemics. I felt better about myself when people would praise me for being smart or athletic. After the assault, I only looked for vaidation in men. The only wat I believed I was pretty was if a man told me I was. Although there is nothing wrong with enjoying compliments from others, it should not be the only form of validation you look for. I was looking for my happiness in men instead of Christ.

A few weeks ago I realized how wrong I have been. Why would I look for validation in something that is always going to let me down when I could be looking toward Christ who has never lets me down? After realizing that I had been so wrong for so long, I made a conscious decision to choose myself this year. To eat healthier, workout more, take care of my mental health, stay on top of my school work, and most importantly, look for my worth in Christ.

Once I made this decision and realized that I had been so wrong, I decided to take a selfie. Like I said before, my self esteem is horrible. I get so uncomfortable taking pictures of myself because I never think that I look good enough, but I decided to take one anyway. After I took this picture, I went to my mom and started crying. For the first time in a very long time, I thought that I was pretty. I think that once you look for your validation in Christ, it changes your outlook on everything. I was made in the image of God and so were you so who are we to tell God that his creation isn’t good enough?

Choose yourself, look for your validation in Christ and see a whole new world and perspective unfold.