Why does life have to hurt so much? Sometimes it feels like I’m swimming against a current that just keeps pulling me under no matter how hard I try to swim out. I’m drowning in a sea of my own thoughts and there is no land in sight.

This blog has been a way for me to find healing in life’s many struggles. Writing down my thoughts has helped me come to terms with everything that has happened to me. Whether you think you’re a terrible writer or a great one, there is something about putting your own thoughts and words down on paper that is so therapeutic.

The one thing that I feel like I have failed to express can be summed up by the great Hannah Montana, “nobody’s perfect”. You may read this blog and think “Wow she is so brave and strong. How is she coping so well? What is wrong with me and why can’t I be like that?” The fact of the matter is, I am a hot freaking mess just like everyone else. This is the problem I run into with social media. You cannot truly see what is going on behind the scenes. Yes, I have found ways to cope and heal, but that does not mean I am remotely perfect. I have days where all I want to do is be alone in my room in the dark. I don’t want anyone to feel like they are not handling their struggles the right way. There is no right way.

Confession time. I have a very unhealthy habit of shutting off my emotions and keeping my tears inside because I don’t want to be seen as weak. And then months later, something will set me off and I just explode. Yes, writing has helped me heal immensely, but let me tell you, it was not easy getting to this point. And even now, I am far from okay. It has taken weekly counseling, lots and lots of Zoloft, and many breakdowns to get to this point. So if there is anything you get from this ramble that I call a blog, know this… Just because you are not ready to come forward and share your story with the world, does not mean that you are any less than someone who has. No matter what your story is, it is yours.

It has taken a long time to get to the point that I am at now and I still have a long long way to go. So cling to what is good and you will find a way to get through.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9